Going to a Concert

You know... It used to be that you could read the paper online here in New Brunswick. It was a fun time for me because the content was actually tagged in the news service - so I would end up googling and finding stuff I wrote quoted in a lot of far-flung places. I once wrote an article talking about something in China and for about a year ever time I got spam it was in Mandarin, and every time I googled myself a third of the sites were in China. Alas, those days are gone and because the Times & Transcript is behind a pay wall, no one ever sees the things I write.

I can post it the day after it appears in the paper - but really, how many of you are interested in day late news stories about the arts ;) Well, today, I am going to a concert tonight that played last night in Moncton - which is where I wrote the story for. But the interviewing and writing process made me want to see the show... which often happens, I am not always free to do it however... this time the fates worked out... So if you are in Fredericton tonight and want to be entertained... Go see this show, LEGENDS. And give me a wave.

Even if you are not there... here is a sample of what I do for the paper.... I write about lifestyle events and artists of all sorts who are coming to Moncton. That is, when I am not writing for my main gig at Arabella or working on my own science fiction... grin.

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What if you could see some of the legends of music live on stage? What if you could sit down for four distinct concerts that show you some of the best performances ever by some of the best stage performers of all times? That is what the show Legends Live promises you as it brings Cher, Rod Stewart, Tom Jones and Michael Jackson to the Capitol stage on Thursday night!

Okay, it is a tribute show – it is not actually Michael Jackson returned from the stage in all his Thriller glory – it is Bishop Soul starring as Michael – just as it is Doug Varty doing Rod and Kara Chandler as Cher with Dave Lafame as Tom Jones. Still – you are going to swear you saw the real thing.

“We put this show together with some of the best talent that there is,” explains Garry Lichach of Bounty Enterprises, “And what we do is spend the time to get it right. This show is note for note, chord for chord – everything you would have heard on one of their records reproduced. We do not do our own arrangements or anything, we recreate the work of the artists.”

These are the same people who brought Abbamania and Night Fever to the Moncton audiences, both shows which were so perfect you would have sworn you saw the Abba and the Bee Gees live.

“I mean, it is a live show too,” Garry continues “These people are actors and performers of the highest calibre. There is comedy and there are moments when they speak right to the heart of the crowd, you are drawn into believing they are the real deal.”

Garry was in Los Angeles a little while ago where there are street performers doing tributes all the time, “It is amazing to watch,” he continues, “because no matter what everyone stops what they are doing to catch the show. And this is just on the side of the street... There is nostalgia involved here, and a sense of wonder; I mean, we hear the song Maggie Mae and we are immediately taken back to the past. How much more true is it if you are watching someone who looks like Rod Stewart sing it!”

And that is just it, that is what makes tribute bands so popular all over the world, they make us remember. We are cast back to the first time we heard Michael Jackson on the radio and when we close our eyes, it is that scene which plays out in front of us – then we open them and lo and behold, Michael is on the stage. Or at least, we can suspend disbelief long enough to think it might just be possible.

Now imagine two and a half hours of stage show with four artists that there is a good chance none of us will ever see perform live. That is the second thing about this, it allows us to do something we cannot normally do, or in the case of Michael, is impossible to do. To see a live show with a performer that we have only heard about in mythical ways before this...

“I booked all the entertainment for the Canadian National Exhibition for twenty years,” explains Garry, “ and during that time I got to see not only who was the best, but what a crowd tribute bands could bring in. Everyone loves to revisit their best memories – but the performers have to be the best, and these people are magic!”

Garry has been in the business for 45 years and he puts together shows that are going to sell out. Abbamania and Night Fever are critically acclaimed – because it is all about getting things right. As Garry explains finding the right artist is only the first step – then you need to find the best studio musicians, and then the best engineers, and then you spend months going over and over the performances – figuring out the best reverb for that song, or the way the harmonics fit in this number. And the result is a show unlike any other; one where you can honestly feel like you have seen Tom Jones perform!

“So, I mean, if you do not enjoy live music you might as well stay home,” Garry laughs, “but if you are a fan of music then there is going to be something for you at this show! Maybe you love Cher, or Rod Stewart, Or Tom Jones, or Michael Jackson – even if only one of them is your favourite, you are going to hear all of their hits. But even if you just love music this is going to be a show to remember, these are the best live performers out there. Besides, I guarantee there is some song in the mix that will take you back... After the show there is a chance to talk to the performers, to get an autograph, it is great. You are going to walk away from this show thinking, Oh my God, I just saw Michael Jackson in concert!”

Finally - The Pallor of Death Removed

The sun beats down on my office window.
The cadence of dropping water beating time to my burdened heart.
Too long locked in the icy grips of death,
Too long diminished by surrounding darkness.
Too long the winter of my soul languishes in desperation.

But no, Spring is here - foul weather beside - today the sun is shining merrily on the dappled ice and snow of my fair city and I will wondrously come alive once more to the possibility of life.

And you? Does darkness burden your soul? Do you feel the binds of grayish clouds and mouldering cold? Do you, as this modern age has scientifically neutered language to express, feel SAD?

I remember when first I saw a television advertisement asking, plaintively, do you feel like you are on the outside in a group of people? Do you feel that you have trouble initiating conversation? New people make you nervous? Well, you may be affected with Social Anxiety Disorder and are in need of a complete chemical change of brain chemistry!

(as you can see, SAD means many things to many a sufferer)

No - Dammit - You are shy! This is not an illness to be born in shame! Shy people are necessary to make flirting far more fun! You do not need Xanax! You need a shot of rum and a lame joke up your sleeve to break the ice. Or sit in the background and watch people for God's sake. It is fun!

(Of course I write this while off my own meds - so take it with a grain of salt)

Seasonal Affective Disorder - another moniker adopted to try and de-normalize a normal feeling - is very real... why, when I was growing up we called it shack wacky - which is far more fun to say! All disorders are real, but they are not disorders, they are states of being - this is my point - Social Anxiety is shyness and is normal for most people to feel at some point. Seasonal Affective Disorder is the absolute pain of the soul which has us wake up to another morning of gray darkness and want to pull the covers over our tender frozen limbs.

Why is that not normal though? Do not even those who love to frolic in hell's forgotten ice crystals have mornings where they cannot get out of bed, or one snow storm too many which causes the snow shovel to be inexplicably snapped over the head of a well-meaning neighbour?

But the sun is shining.

I am sure there are those rare few disillusioned souls whose vampiric hatred of all that is good and light would cause them to cast a wearied gaze upon such majesty as our golden heavenly orb provides - but there are not many.

For most this is what life is about - sunshine pushing back darkness to the edge of reality, warmth carving its way through months of rock hard solidified ice, This my friends is the air of hope. It infuses us with the will to survive. It wends its way by snaking tendrils into our despair and awakens dreams.

For soon, we shall swim.

Becoming ME

I am not sure when it happens for most people - probably around five years old we begin to differentiate - to become someone other than an extension of our parents. But then it all slides into societal expectations, status seeking and even employment norms.

I mean, I rebelled, I really did. I was a punk with a pierced ear and a green mohawk. I wore black clothes and a dog collar before EMO even existed. When everyone pierced their ear again, I got two, then three.... and I was unique... Except... Looking back now I realize I was rebelling along a pre-determined track. I was not being original, I was being like my group of friends who were trying to intentionally not fit in because we thought the system was broken. How original. We all dressed alike and listened to the same music, we all ran away from home and experimented with the same drugs. We were SO unique.

As an adult I look at kids and see the same thing happening - them asserting independence by copying. Which is what we all do. We act a certain way to get friends, we answer questions a certain way to get good test scores, we work a certain way to get the money we need to survive... we fit in. Even if it is fitting in the way we actually want to.

If you are lucky, as I am, you tend to gravitate to certain people who see the world from your vantage point. I am a broken person who has dealt with a lot of pain - and I often find myself in the company of those who have loved and lost at most of life. We get each other.

I write and paint and think. That is what I do with my time. So I tend to find myself with other people who are creative thinkers and artists of one sort or another.

But I am closer to death than to birth.

And I still wonder who I am.

Does that ever go away? Do we ever break through the years of conditioning and the years of experience, the peer pressure and hard knocks that have sculpted us? Michelangelo famously described sculpting as releasing the beauty trapped within - and yes I am paraphrasing - so how do do that for ourselves?

Take a long hard look. I know certain truths even if I cannot always explain the psychological processes behind them. For example I love tattoos and piercings. It is just something I am drawn to. I used to only wear Doc Martins and Sandals. I need to go back to that (and Blundstones in the winter) I really love Rum. If I could be any historical person it would be Captain Jack Sparrow. I love to investigate, to see new things, to marvel at the beauty in a starscape. Science Fiction is my creative edge - it makes me think and dream. I always wanted to scuba dive and go to outer space - perhaps for the same sense of exploration. Which is also why I will hop into the car and drive for hours.

I am shy and yet I am outgoing. I am faithful to my friends yet I take unnecessary risks. I love to feel like I am in danger. Almost nothing in the world is black and white to me - and yet when I find something I like I stubbornly cling to it. I really don't care if I make money, I would rather do something new. I just want the money to get the rum, good restaurants, gas for the car, stuff for the ones I love, and trips to Disney.

My thinking has changed and evolved as life goes on - I do not believe there are only two sexual preferences, homo and hetero, I do not believe that love is finite and you can only feel it for one person, I do not believe that someone can or should be just like you.

Now - here is the catch - I do not know if any of that is me - or just the fallout of a lifetime of trying to do what people think I should do, be who people think I should be, live as society expects. You see, even the rebellious stuff might just be me rebelling in the way I think I should, who knows?

But I am trying. Every day I am trying. Trying to find me, trying to let go of others viewpoints, trying to believe that I am this way on purpose and it is a good thing.

I think we all should. Take some time and think about what you like and why. Separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak and be more authentically you. That is who you were intended to be and it is only then that we can find what we have been searching for.  Good Luck!

The Secret History of the Easter Bunny

Nay, nay, nay - say it isn't so! There is a deep dark hidden mysterious allegorical truth behind the Easter Bunny - and it has very little to do with Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail.

NO - the truth is much darker and comes from a time of our past cloaked in mystery and intentional obfuscation. And, (sharply inhaled breath) this cover up was done by the church.

Enter one of the most mysterious and misunderstood religious texts ever - the Smithfield Decretals.

Officially known as the Decretals of Gregory IX, this is a collection of canonical law ordered in the 13th century by Pope Gregory IX. Such collections were fairly common at the time, but what’s bizarre about these decretals is the illustrations that went along with them. 

The Smithfield Decretals were created as an illuminated manuscript which was a style that combined illustrations and flowery calligraphy with the lettering. It was a painstaking and expensive process, because each drawing had to be done by hand. Again, nothing unusual about that; plenty of early religious texts did it. 

But when you dig through the copious illustrations in the Smithfield Decretals, you start finding some very weird things. Scattered throughout the pages are violent scenes of geese lynching a wolf, unicorns and yes, giant rabbits decapitating people.

I believe this is all a forgotten segment of history when our Rabbit Overlords, or Cloverlords as some are want to call them, were creating such havoc due to their hatred of humans in all their subtle guise that the church declared an outright ban on Rabbits in hierarchial authority. This was followed swiftly by the defrocking of the Bishop of Cabbage Patch.

In an attempt to reclaim the hearts and minds of the simple pagan populations the Cloverlords began a campaign of enduring mythology, in which rabbits were not only good, but benevolent - coming through our fields and forest to distribute chocolate and other sugary confections.

After all, if children start to see the giant rabbits as nothing but cheerful characters in spring fashion accessorized vests....they will forget the dark times of conquest.

So be wary, I say! Do not be complicit in this myth that hearkens us back to the brink of subjection! Do not believe in the goodness of rabbits. They are after all nasty feindish creatures with sharp pointy teeth....

Gone Mental

I remember when we used to say that in High School - she's gone mental. When we said it my friends and I meant that the person did something that we would not have done, like put relish on a hot dog, or yelled at a teacher. Ah the good old days of innoccence before going mental meant taking an AK47 to a random group of strangers....

I am not sure there were good old days...

I think more things were swept under the table and more people just dealt with their depression, or schizophrenia, or anger on their own. In good and bad ways. Many street people probably could have avoided it with a good bout of therapy and pharmaceuticals. Depressed people were institutionalized right up to the 1970's. And let's not forget how almost every housewife in North America was prescribed valium in order to help deal with their husband during the 60's.

So I do not think much has changed except that it is out in the open, although still stigmatized. But here is the thing, I am not sure I have ever met a sane person. Or, if I have, I have not stayed in touch past the initial contact. It is not that there is anything wrong with sanity - it is simply that most of us cannot relate.

And that is because like it or not, most of us have gone mental. Perhaps we always were. ADHD, Depression, Social Anxiety, PTSD, Mania, Bipolar, Phobias, to name my own basket list of issues, grin, plague almost everyone. I defy you to go look up characteristics of mental illness and not find anything in common with any of them.

Again, I am not saying the world has changed, although it is extremely stressful and quick moving these days. I am not saying school or society did it to us, although there is certainly a lot that is unhealthy in our systems these days. I am not blaming our parents, although many people come from broken and violent pasts these days. Nor am I blaming the damn mercury in our booster shots.

What I am saying is that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is struggling with mental illness right now, this very moment. Someone you know is going to consider killing themselves today. This week someone you have talked to will come to the breaking point and either drink themselves into a stupor or punch something or someone. More than half the people you encounter today are probably taking prescription drugs just to cope. Another third more probably self medicate with anything from cocaine to chocolate.

So for God's sake - stop being so hard on everyone. Stop thinking you are so perfect. Stop pretending life is easy. Admit how hard it is. Share your pain. Be real in your living. If we all helped each... things would be different.

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

For a variety of reasons I have spoken to people lately in a way which could only be called marketing. And by that I mean trying to sell myself. Sell myself as a writer, as an employee, as a business commodity... You know, the perpetual world of a freelancer with not enough permanent income.

I have come to some conclusions - first, people who interview people and deal with employees expect the worst. I am not sure this a universal truth, but I find it to be true. They think you are going to judge, they think you are going to try and cheat them, they think you are only in it for self-gain. I cannot blame them, they have probably seen the worst there is in people as they hire, contract, fire, engage and otherwise work with those who market themselves and their skills over and over.

As an aside I have found dealing with my kid's teachers to be like this - they go into every conversation afraid. I do not remember that being true when I was a kid... but now it is as if the teacher expects you are going to tell them they are doing everything wrong, or ask for special favours, or something that will make them hit the scotch and antacid when the meeting is over. When you walk into parent teacher and say, my kid won't listen to me, do you have any luck? the teacher is taken off guard.

As are the interviewees or editors or any other person higher up the food chain when you treat them with respect and try to take their stress away.

When I was a clergy person in the United Church I had heard it said that all a minister really needs to know how to do is interview well, then they can get whatever job they want. And it is true, if you wow them in an interview you get the job - the problem is, you do not keep the job and everyone becomes miserable if you are ONLY good at the interview.

So here is what I think successful people do - the ones who not only ace the interview but land and continue with the job - they treat the people they work for, and with, as human beings - and they are real about who they are and what they do. No games, no false ego - just.... I like it here, I like you, how can I help.

When we approach life, work and relationships with that sort of attitude, people respond. (but do not tell everyone - because the reason they respond so well might just well be that most people forget this golden rule of caring about the other person).

I have learned that I might not always get the job or assignment, but when I am trying to be me and to generally care about the other person  - I eventually end up in the right place.

The World We Live in

I grew up on the tail end of the Cold War. Just old enough to remember hiding under the desk in order to survive the impending Nuclear holocaust. I still cannot imagine who came up with that one...

Anyway – there was always that. Death from nuclear missiles. Which sort of occupied our minds in the background. But aside from that, do you know what I worried about? Nothing. Okay, that is an oversimplification I worried about what my parents would say if I did not do well in school or if I was not polite to their friends. The punishment for those two things was enough to make you never forget to say thank you.

That was not just them – it was everyone. We knew we had better not disappoint our parents, teachers, ministers, coach etc. Or God help you.

Still, this was the sum total of my fear. Someday the Russians (yes, it was always the Russians back then) would kill us all, and sometime nearer in terms of history, I was going to slip up and fail at something and get myself killed.

I want you to think back over the last week in Canada and tell me what sort of things you have been worried about? That a crazy crack addicted family of millionaires is going to once again take over Toronto, that ISIS is targeting Canadian soldiers, that terrorism is hitting close to home, that BDSM is becoming mainstream, and on and on and on it goes.

Life is not simple anymore. Some may argue it never was, but I am pretty convinced it was more simple. It was not better, or happier, or anything like that perhaps, but it was simpler.

Social scientists, religious leaders, philosophers, and all those people will tell you there is a reason for this. We live in a transitional age. Things are changing rapidly, and society does not yet know where it is heading.

Curiously this is a cyclical phenomenon that happens every 500 years or so. A quick and abysmally one-sided history lesson suggests they are on to something:

1500 was the Protestant reformation, the printing press was discovered, Leonardo Da Vinci wrote everything, Copernicus discovered the earth was the centre of the solar system and Francis Drake sailed around the world.

1000 saw the Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholic churches divide, the invasion of Jerusalem by the Muslims, the launch of the Crusades and the Vikings discovering and settling North America.

500 was when the Roman Empire finally began to lose its power, Arthur won Britain and Clovis won France, the Persians attacked Rome and the Vandal Hordes were storming in from the East. The Dark Ages began here.

You see my point – their point – the point. It seems true to say, oddly, that every 500 years everything changes. That is how long we can get along before society needs to readjust. And it takes about a hundred years for things to settle into a new way of being that no one every thought of before that point.

God only knows why the scandal between Jian Ghomeshi and the CBC brought this to mind for me, but it did. I think it is part and parcel of the millennial change in the way we as humans are going to exist on the planet – which for my money started about 1960 and will therefore resolve itself into a new era sometime after 2050.

Life for us caught up in this century is and always will be chaos. The world is changing faster than we can keep up, and that includes the way we think about things. Celebrity, sex, war, politics, morals, sexuality, family, religion – all these things are up for grabs and none of them will be the same in 30 years.

On the other hand, it is one hell of a ride.