For a variety of reasons I have spoken to people lately in a way which could only be called marketing. And by that I mean trying to sell myself. Sell myself as a writer, as an employee, as a business commodity... You know, the perpetual world of a freelancer with not enough permanent income.
I have come to some conclusions - first, people who interview people and deal with employees expect the worst. I am not sure this a universal truth, but I find it to be true. They think you are going to judge, they think you are going to try and cheat them, they think you are only in it for self-gain. I cannot blame them, they have probably seen the worst there is in people as they hire, contract, fire, engage and otherwise work with those who market themselves and their skills over and over.
As an aside I have found dealing with my kid's teachers to be like this - they go into every conversation afraid. I do not remember that being true when I was a kid... but now it is as if the teacher expects you are going to tell them they are doing everything wrong, or ask for special favours, or something that will make them hit the scotch and antacid when the meeting is over. When you walk into parent teacher and say, my kid won't listen to me, do you have any luck? the teacher is taken off guard.
As are the interviewees or editors or any other person higher up the food chain when you treat them with respect and try to take their stress away.
When I was a clergy person in the United Church I had heard it said that all a minister really needs to know how to do is interview well, then they can get whatever job they want. And it is true, if you wow them in an interview you get the job - the problem is, you do not keep the job and everyone becomes miserable if you are ONLY good at the interview.
So here is what I think successful people do - the ones who not only ace the interview but land and continue with the job - they treat the people they work for, and with, as human beings - and they are real about who they are and what they do. No games, no false ego - just.... I like it here, I like you, how can I help.
When we approach life, work and relationships with that sort of attitude, people respond. (but do not tell everyone - because the reason they respond so well might just well be that most people forget this golden rule of caring about the other person).
I have learned that I might not always get the job or assignment, but when I am trying to be me and to generally care about the other person - I eventually end up in the right place.
